Freiburg and the sweet monk

Freiburg. To me it was just another German city. It reminded me of Oxford in England. Don't get me wrong, it was beautiful, because it was so old. I went into a cathedral which was exquisite and walked the cobbled streets. It's a town of streams going through it and apparently it's gorgeous in the summer. Freiburg is a university town and is filled to the brim with coffee houses, sweet coffee houses.

We went to M's sister's graduation, a complete disaster. It was soooo funny. Basically, it was the first time the uni had done a graduation ceremony and it was only the theology department that chose to do one. Respect to them for being so pioneering, hardly the department I would think of for innovation, so great on them. So, as the guy was reading out the dissertation topic of the first masters students, ready to hand over the certificate, the girl standing next to him about to receive, was like - no, that's not my dissertation topic! It was completely and utterly wrong. It was such a joke and a great ice breaker. I just cracked up, the whole auditorium did. The rest of the night wasn't as funny, went through an inappropriate 40min speech on the affect of one word in a biblical statement. LOL

The COOLEST thing was that afterwards I met a Nigerian guy who was doing his doctorate there. We spoke exclusively of politics and he argued that Nigeria should split into three. I vehemently dislike that argument.

Then, I met a MONK. Omg this guy was the sweetest monk I have ever met, ok let alone the fact that the's the only monk I've ever met lolz. He was sooo cuuute. He couldnt speak much English and neither could his friend, so it was a dance of hands/smiles/nods. He told me that when he was 20years old, in his heart, he felt like Jesus was calling him to this job. How sweeeet!!!! He said that he was searching for something. I asked him if he had found what he was looking for? He told me that it's not a matter of finding, but rather of going deeper and he used the word, blossoming. He had the most beautiful smile. He was so young and he was wearing the whole gear. Yno the brown kind of long dress, with rope. His hair was intact though lol. I fell in love with a monk right there and then! LOL such a sweety, he touched my heart with his innocence and sincerity.

The Black Forest - it just happens

Am Freitag war ich in the Black Forest. It was so picturesque. I have wanted to come here for a while now, so I felt grateful to finally be witnessing this natural spectacle. Snow, snow, snow!!! Forests are amazing, arent they? Aren't they just full of witch like, wizard possibilities? I just love them!! I remember writing about my experiences in a forest in Kenya. I love being surrounded by the trees and the view was breathtaking.

Yesterday I was considering what it would be like to be a tree. I love the way that trees just "are" and when they die it "just happens". There's nothing sad about trees dying, it's completely fine. Another will grow. Why isn't it the same with humans? Why can't I be like the tree that simply witnesses it's existence, doesnt question, is just one with nature and the cycle. There's nothing bad or sad about dying. It "just happens".

As we were driving higher and higher up the mountain, I felt like I was going up too quickly in a lift. omg, doesnt that say a lot about me? The fact that Im comparing going up a mountain to being in a lift in canary wharf, i was thinking of clifford chance LOL what a city chick, man? I need to get into the countryside more often!!

As we were walking through the forest, our boots sometimes falling into light snow, I got told off by a skier for messing up his ski tracks LOL. Just before he addressed us, I was telling M how privileged I felt to be witnessing this natural beauty, because I know many of my family members in Nigeria will not get this opportunity, let alone the rest of humanity. Isn't it funny how even when we do have such opportunities, we can still be grumpy. I think this is the human countenance. Happiness does not exist in what you have, but rather what you can see. I was considering the focus lens of a camera. Some of the photos we took were focused on the foreground or background. We chose what to focus on and that therefore adjusted our view and perception. Surely the same can be said of life? What do you focus on? What do I focus on? The little things? The mistakes? The future? The past? Maybe I could try living more in the present moment.

What more could one want than good friends? Ok, there are a few things one could want also! lol. But the point Im trying to make is that I love my friends. I thank the all-pervading-beautiful-spirit-of-love for that! Spending exclusive time with a good friend is a dream and Im in heaven.

There were so many people skiing. It was nice to see Germans enjoying their environment and keeping fit and healthy. Quality of life, people!!! I swear, these Europeans know how to do it! Need to take a leaf out of their book.

I love life. Thank you God. Thank you to my parents and to those loved ones around me. Thank you Mother Earth - please make me more connected to you. Please forgive me, please make me humble. I love You.

Mountains

German breakfasts - you just cant beat them! That's what I came down to this morning. Home made marmalades, brown bread with soo many seeds. This is what I mean by the good life. Why dont we have this in England? Why are we not as refined? But Im sure not everyone in good old Deutschland lives like this. I am sure that East London style is here too, in the cities perhaps, where the "immigrants" are perhaps. Those are not my words btw.

We went grocery shopping, to, guess what - Lidl! Globalisation, man! I literally felt like I was in East Ham, coz it's exactly the same!! Isn't that weird!?

I can see the snow topped mountains and all of the houses are big and beautiful. Very clean and tidy. Almost too perfect. I'm sure behind those doors much remains to be seen. Sometimes the outside does not reflect the inside and vice versa, no?

Germany

Hey! So omg hasnt it been such a long time since i last wrote on this, my treasured blog! Apologies dear loved ones, apologies. Since I left Kenya so much has happened. After my LSE graduation I went to Nigeria where I taught in a primary school for a while, following which I went by bus through Benin and Togo to Ghana where I spent one month teaching meditation and travelling.

I came back to the UK to look for a job! I now work with a small community group in East London. But, as you know, I do have itchy feet, so just had to get back out there, well out of the UK, to, Deutschland, as it happens! lolz. I pretty much make a trip to Germany every year, so its nothing really new, but i want to blog and tell u a little bit about southwest deutschland.

I arrived late last night. First, can I say that Ryanair always manages to surprise me about how crappy they are. So they called a final boarding call and everyone was standing up queueing, waiting to board our plane, which may I add, was nonexistant!! It took the plane a good 15mins to actually park into our bay bit and then, people started coming out!! looooool. I swear, Ryanair have redefined aviation standards. Its more like a train service, because as soon as one plane lands and people get off, we are shoved on. i guess ive just got used to years of high standard flights. if the industry had started off in this way, then it would be normal. i have to admit that i dont mind if it means lower cost flights. its just jokes tho.

anyway, the flight was just an hour, which is nothing and i landed in karlsruhe baden airport. i immediately saw trees!! was so happy!! and trees that look different from the ones in england. u know, im desperate for the countryside, london and lagos have been eeking it out of me. just need to be with some grass and trees man. i feel closer to God that way too.

The airport was titchy as one would expect. i peered into the eyes of the guy eyeing my passport. i always wonder what these german border control people think of my hijabi passport with stamps from iran, egypt, jordan, india, china and the like. i felt as if he was looking round for help, almost like he wanted to press some red button underneath his desk and terrorist alerts would flash and policeman, dusty from years of inactiveness, would pop to life, grab guns and rush towards me. a spotlight would come on and i would be engulfed. but, no, he just waved me through.

i met M and i havent seen him in ages, so immediately sprung to life when i spotted him and had so much energy to see my good friend. wicked stuff man. one thing, my friends, is that like most europeans, germans know how to live what one might call, the good life. M lives in a village, or what he calls a village. yes it may be tiny. as we were driving he said, "this is the end of the village" I was like joooookes. as if one can ever say that about london. well only stratford, in terms of this is the end of the world. no soz, im east through and through dont get me wrong.

But, damn, i would swap their village for london..(no i take that back) i would swap their village for east london any day. these houses are maasssssiiivee. im like, damn, why does one need such a big house. but then again, why not (I cant find the question mark button eek lol)

En fait ca c est la question that keeps revurberating in my mind, why not...why ever not...got to keep asking that question. i dont want to live in a prison of my own mind, although i have to accept that of course, to some extent, i want to live in possibility and i dont want to be narrow minded. Im trying to stop being me. Im desperately trying to get out of my routine mind of thinking, what can i do, what should i be doing, what are my plans for the future, evaluation myself, asking others what they are doing, evaluating again...this is what we in meditation call the RIGHT side. the side of ACTION, thoughts and futuristic planning. I have to say, London doesnt help. Have u noticed the way people practically run out of stations...im like slow down. ok, so im running too, i cant lie lol. so, london can induce my right side. but these days i am more likely to flit between the left and the right. the left being overemotional and thinking about the past and feeling lazy to do things.

thats why in islam we talk about a middle path. that, too, is the purpose of meditation. to align ourselves in the middle and to attain balance. that is what i strive for. in fact, i better do my meditation now! joookes.

Its not even cold, here. yet

Back in Londrez

Im back in London! Just came back from London Liming at the Soutbank Centre. An eclectic night of different spoken word artists, musicians and generally really talented people. I enjoyed it to the max. I love the arts and I want to see this in Abuja. Imagine if I could help make Abuja an arts centre of West Africa. Wouldn't that be absolutely amazing? Please, God, help me to do that if You want it.

Kenya seems like a dream as I've just melted back into London life. I really love Kenya and I rave about it to anyone and everyone who will listen. My flight back to London was long and tiring, because it was through Dubai, but I met a nice Kenyan guy, an air hostess from Oman and one of her majesty's beefeaters! Lol...I love making friends on flights. so cool, because one gets exposed to such a random mixture of people that one may not normally get to meet.

My Kenya trip has been so eventful and I think, the best trip of my life yet. Thank you to all those who were part of it. Especially you, D. Our favourite phrase of the trip is,

the journey is the destination

and how true that is.

Lamu

Right now I am in Lamu, a picturesque island off the coast in the Indian Ocean. It's a tiny place of narrow alleys where there are no cars - only donkeys! lol. It's like something out of another world entirely, because of the unspoilt beaches, old buildings arching over cobbled streets. We have a speed boat at our disposal because my Auntie's cousin works for Kenya Wildlife Service. lol. Amazing what you can get without doing anything. I LOVE speedboats. I swear, I was made for these things. There's something so effortlessly james bondesque about those machines, especially in a setting like Lamu where one need only drive 5mins to the next beach by boat.

But, there's something dark about this place. I feel it in my heart and I can't ignore it. The guidebook raves about Lamu, everyone says that it's a must. I would rather leave asap. Later, my friend told me that Lamu has been known for peadophilia - I wouldn't be suprised. Sometimes things that seem wonderful on the outside are dead rotten within. That thought has plagued me for about a year now. It came to me when I was looking at some fronts shop fronts in London and noticing how beautiful they were and then getting a chance to look at the back of the shops where no attention had been paid at all and where the conditions for the workers were a stark contrast. Reversely, I guess something that looks ugly on the outside can be like a sweet smelling flower on the inside. How limited perception is when the heart is unused.

From Lamu we spent the best part of a day on Manda Island beach which is situated opposite. There was literally no one there. The beach is lined with grand houses built by expats, but there was little sign of life. D and I did what we never usually do - lay on the sand in our swimming costumes for hours. I always associate that kind of activity with English holiday goers to Southern Spain with no interest in cultural exchange - sun worshippers of sorts. I would hate to be associated with such a thing that I am so vehemently against! However, it couldn't be avoided here - a deserted beach, cool weather and the sound of the sea! Plus, there's no need to hold back from things I want to do - why not relax and indulge? Life is too good. I really believe that - I do feel like a secret princess ;)

Within a day I started recognising people on the Island and by the second day we were meeting people all over the place. It was actually nice to have that community feeling, but I can imagine it becomes suffocating after a while when people take a strong interest in what I would consider personal matters. One morning I went out in jilbaab and a headscarf, because that's what the local women wear and I can't recommend it more highly. If you are a woman dress in the local clothing. I saw one western lady wearing a revealing dress by WESTERN standards, so can you imagine what the local Muslim population thought? Maybe she just didn't know much about Islam, but all one has to do is open ones eyes to what the women around are doing. D and I covered our hair whilst on the coast, because it felt respectful to do so. Why not observe other people's practices when one is in their community? That's a whole debate in itself...

What I like about D and I is that we make an effort to go to places that other people might judge as taking too much effort. We rented our own speed boat to take us to Pate Island, which cost us quite a lot of money, but God knows if I will ever come back to that place so I think I should take every opportunity I have to travel everywhere. Pate Island is a different world altogether. We got off the speedboat and started walking. We walked on the red earth in the bush. Our Captain - Hassan came with us. He didn't wear any shoes and my feet were hurting through my sandals! How was he doing that? He didn't even seem to look where he was going - but just walk with a confident stride. The underside of his feet must have grown used to it. I wonder why he doesn't wear shoes - maybe he can't afford them? Or is it choice? He is a captain afterall - I didn't ask.

After walking for about 20minutes we came to a large clearing where the brush ended and the tall, wavering palm trees started. As soon as I reached that place I felt as if I had reached my destination and need not travel any further. It was such a great feeling of satisfaction and wonder at what I had found. I just wanted to sit, meditate and reflect upon life. Then a lorry full of soil pulled up and the boys in it offered us a lift closer to the town. They were Kikuyu boys - all the way in these parts. They were really friendly and didn't even ask us for any money. It's interesting how people in rural areas are more friendly - the same rule in England seems to apply in Kenya as well. What is it about urban areas that does that to us? What a shame.

We got off the lorry and kept walking towards what we hoped to be the town. My thighs started to stick - the weather was hot and there was no sign of the town nearing. Then, a man suddenly appeared out of nowhere, apparently there to guide us around the town and to his house! The town was something literally out of another world. The houses were crumbing, the streets were tiny just like Lamu island, but this one was so shrouded in history that it felt as if the world had forgotten this place- time stands still here. There are many places like that in the world- forgotten and of no importance, where international politics and diplomacy has little reach. That doesn't make their lives any less valuable than my own. Maybe they're more free than I am?

Kenya - a country of such diversity

I am so sorry that I haven't had internet access for over a week now, so have been unable to post on my blog. I am mesmerised by this blessed country of such great diversity. You should see where I am right now - I am sitting in one of the most glamorous hotels that Mombasa can offer - with a beautiful balcony overlooking the river, sunlight pouring through the glass sliding doors into the white studio flat.



Mombasa is a must-see holiday destination for the vast majority of people who make it to Kenya. It's chilled coastal town mix of Arabic, Indian and African influence make it markedley different from what I am realising to be a country of great diversity. I fell in love with the place immediately when I left the bus to hear the call to morning prayer. The day before I had happened to mention to D that I really felt like being in the middle east. Well, God answered my wish, because here I am feeling like I am in a Muslim country. Many of the women wear jilbaab (the black loose overdress) and headscarf. I feel content amongst this familiar culture. We are so blessed to be staying with my auntie's family who have looked after us so well! We are in a house of such love! I am so lucky, I always feel that I am placed with such people. We were served a feast of a breakfast, which demonstrates the influences of the coastal culture - typical Indian bhajis, kebab, samosas, some Hausa style rice pattes, Yoruba style pof-pof (lol).

Even our journey using the coach from Nairobi to Mombasa was an unusual luxury for D and I. Normally, we use matatus and the cheapest buses possible. We have been the only tourists on those contraptions. But, now that we're on a bonified tourist trail, the transportation is luxurious - a whole seat to myself! Space to stretch my legs! No one standing up or leaning on me, with luggage strewn all over the place. Those experiences required me to undergo a serious psychological change in the way I approached those situations. I had to seperate my body from my mind completely and see my body simply as a shell, or a door mat to be stepped on, squashed, pushed and jilted. After I got over that hurdle, I began to enjoy the journeys where I would have a beautiful masai woman sitting so close to me on her make shift seat in the gangway of the coach. Her coloured beaded necklaces snaking around her tall neck. I began to feel such love for those around me - another woman knealing on my thigh as she sits on the floor, family members laughing with one another as they stand in the bus, bumping along the unmade roads, a little boy sitting on the arm rest of my chair.

Before going to Mombasa where I currently am, I was soooo blessed to be transported to Eliye Springs at Lake Turkana. This jade emerald lake is surrounded by desert - I saw a group of about 30 camels drinking in the lake. Can you imagine? The beach was completely deserted - miles upon miles of sanded beach next to desert with no one but Turkana tribes peoples and D and I. We spent that morning seperated, both in our own worlds, contemplating life and existence - having our own journeys. At one point I started talking and singing aloud. I talked to God about life and I realised that all of this worldly things are simply tools to reach the Divine - nothing more. So, all of my careers decisions and family choices mean nothing to me without considering how they will impact on my path to becoming one with Him. There is nothing more to this life. I came into this world with nothing and will leave with nothing. The only thing that matters is the enlightenment of my spirit. So, I listen to my heart, which sends me messages from the Divine - it's like what Paulo Coelho writes in his book, the Alchemist when he talks about the spirit of the world. We just have to connect to that overriding spirit of complete love, which communicates to us through our intuition. The more we act on that intuition and trust it, the more it serves and blesses us. In fact, that was even how we ended up in Lake Turkana - a jewel rarely seen by tourists because of unreliable transport connections. We were in Kitale (a nice enough place, but unfortunately beset with horrid transport hawkers) because we came back from an evening out to find our hotel room flooded. The guy who came in to clean it up happened to be from Turkana area and he reassured us that it was possible to reach the Lake. Regardless of this we decided to leave it, because of the uncertainty. However, the next morning I was doing my meditation and I had a strong feeling that we should at least try to get to Lodwa - a 10 hour journey from Kitale and the closest town to Eliye Springs at the Lake. D and I acted upon that intuition, which she felt as well and we were led to understand ourselves better. What else could be the purpose of our life, but to understand ourself and therefore understand the creator? However, these journeys are not free from challenge. In fact, when we take a step towards these paths of light, often negativity can intensify. So much so that D and I were literally attacked by about 15 men trying to get us to choose their bus to Lodwa. It was the worst experience I have had in Africa. These men were pulling at our bodies, our bags, pushing us from side to side until we were in the epicentre of this mass of men pushing us along until our backs hit a coach and we were homed in by them. Thank God for a bus driver who helped us up through his side of the bus away from those awful men. As soon as I got onto the bus, tears started coming down my cheeks - it was such a shocking experience! I never knew that men could be so disrespectful to women and avoid such common courtesies - it was terrible. But, Alhamdulilah we were safe and managed to get on the bus. This is one of the unfortunate sides of travelling without a male.

We also went to Kakamega, which boasts monkey filled virgin forest. We sat on the back of bicycles to get there. I was really scared of this, because I had a bike accident when I was younger, which has given me a fear of riding ever since. But, I had no choice! After a couple of rides on the back of these bikes I was enjoying them to the max! Skimming along the country paths, forest zooming past, local people on their daily errands, shop sellers - it was a wonderful experience. I learnt that I never want to make a decision based on fear. I'm not sure how I have managed to get so "far" in life with my current attitude towards fear. As we were going through the wild forest our friend decided to diverge from the main path. I noticed that I didn't like that at all. We were creeping through the forest and had no compass, no idea at all of the direction in which we were travelling or where we would end up. I wasn't comfortable and could not enjoy the present, because I was so concerned about the end result and the future. I began to understand that this situation typified by approach to life in general - I always like to know where I am going and prefer to take the well trodden path where I know there is a destination rather than the one which is unsure. But, what am I losing out on by doing this? I don't want to be driven by fear - that isn't living, is it?

Before Kakamega we were on Lake Victoria, which is shared with Uganda. In order to get there we had to undertake a hellish matatu ride on the worst roads ever LOL from Kisi to Homa Bay and then a taxi with eventually NINE people (TWO in the boot!!) to Mbita. That was a journey and a half. This trip has taught me a great lesson - that THE JOURNEY IS THE DESTINATION. Mbita is connected to an island on Lake Victoria called Rusinga, which we walked to. Some of the coast line was really littered and fly infested. There were flies everywhere - on our clothes, bags, on the ground - it was awful lol. We got on a boat to another island called Mfangano. The boat was full with local residents island hopping and I was once again squashed between many people in the heat of the midday. It was interesting to see the way that people live their lives on these islands using boats as common transport. What an interesting life. Central London seems so far away and non-existent here. It seems almost silly that I spend so much of my life there, when I could be somewhere like this...lol. I'm sure we always end up asking ourselves those questions when we find somewhere new. But, I would like to act upon them.

We took a ferry from Mbita to the mainland and then hitched a ride on the back of a lorry to Kisumu, a big town in Western Kenya. The back of the lorry was soo interesting, because we watched the sunset and then were shrouded in pitch black darkness! My friend D is so adventurous and she will ask for rides where as I would assume that they wouldn't want to give us one. She doesn't give a second thought to the possibility that something might not work. Instead, she sees only opportunities where others see barriers. How refreshing. Surely this is the key to life? Once again, I can't think of how many things I may have missed out on, because I "assumed" that they were not possible. Shame on me! I want to change that habit immediately.

I don't want to die without having lived.